I missed them... the time with them... and their presence....

Have you ever asked yourself, among the multitude of friends who we have around us, how do you classify them.. or how do you accept them? 

I have asked this question to myself so many times that till today I don’t even have 1 specific answer for it.  Friendship comes in many form and shapes.   At times I imagine it as it’s like water because it takes up the shape in any form of container where it is poured in.  Same way about friendship takes different sizes and shapes according to our heart.

I look at my ex-colleagues’ photos and I smiled at each photo.  So much memories… and gosh so sad that I don’t meet them anymore.  Friendship brings pleasure and that’s why when I missed them… I browsed at their photos and recall our good old times together and even can't forget the sorrow that I may have for the day.  We share pleasant times together during our teambuilding events, attending in-house seminars together, and of course our department's makan.

During our teambuilding, everyone set themselves to the same focus of the program and i.e. to 'team up and succeed with the group strategy to win'.  During our fall in the program we motivated each other and picked each other up to face the obstacles, the games that were the challenges of the day.  We cheered, we laughed at comical incidences of how some scrambled on top of each other to win the games.

This clay vase that I bought from Tekam Pahang during our teambuilding records such sweet memories....  Yes, sadly to note that there is a crack on the vase.  Sigh... yes some one accidentally bumped at the table where the vase was.... and CRACKkkk..  Look at the names and the messages on it....

Friendship sees no boundaries.  How do we recognize friendship?  Mutual values that we share... and of course trustworthy during our companionship. Trusted true friends never let you stand alone in worst of times.  You have them as the walls when you need to lean for a moment when you feel you are sliding down.

I am glad that I have friends who never expect anything in return in the name of Friendship.  These friends have saved my life when I was depressed and needed someone to talk to.

In order to attract good friends, you have to be a good friend.  And I think you learn to be a good friend as soon as you are old enough to maintain and sustain lasting relationships. 
 
You don't become a good friend by accident.  And it's impossible to sustain good friendships accidentally.   A friendship is a living/breathing entity that must be loved, nurtured and fed.  The friendship recipe is a blend of different ingredients all rolled into one.

If I were to be asked what Friendship is all about, these would be the chore elements that I am looking for:

… compassion, commitment, forgiveness, honesty, humor, love, loyalty, patience, respect, trust and a dash or two of fun & wit to spice things up…

Making friends is not easy nowadays.  I find it incredibly tough to make new friends.  Don’t get me wrong as I am a sociable person and have no difficulties to get along with anyone, let it be of any age, any race or profession.  I can mix well in any sociable events with no fear. 

The last fantastic group of my friends have left for better prospects in other organizations.  We bite bullets together in bad times and became ‘survival floats’ when we sank in misery.  I would say we are always in the same boat during our time to deliver and perform to our superiors in the office and God blessed us all, we succeeded.  It was like a huge support system made up of humans, not called ‘staff’ but described as ‘team mates’ that has made our bosses proud of the month-ends KRAs.

I find certain characteristics in my friends that I truly treasure.  We may not be sisters at birth but the understanding and the sincerity when we accept each other, truly makes me feel like sisters or in other words, ‘ a family member ‘.  They are family like the friends I choose. 

For all my beautiful friends, please do know that each and every one of you stays a special spot in my heart.  I may not be there whenever all of you set your reunion dinners or hi-tea but my sincere wishes that good health, earnest wealth stays with you forever.  This poem is dedicated to all my friends and they know who they are when they read this….  It was how sincere they treated me when I was down in bad times….

When you're down,
and the world seems dark and empty,
your forever friends lifts you up in spirit
and make that dark and empty world
suddenly seem bright and full.
Your forever friend gets you through
the hard times, the sad times,
and the confused times.
If you turn and walk across,
your forever friend follows.
If you lose your way,
your forever friend holds your hand
and tells you that
everything is going to be okay.
And if you find such a friend,
you will feel happy and complete,
because you need not worry.
You have a forever friend for life,
and forever has no end.

~ Laurieann Kelly ~

So my lovely blog friends, value the friends you have as time takes you.  It’s as precious as a gemstone… treasure it well.

Author... just me...

MY Sihat - MY Health

At my age (secret!) and that I am still working I want to combat my age war and taking all effort to remain the best of health.  Some common perceptions about women my age would be that there is some spare flab at the hipline, wrinkled necklines, etc and I wanna change that perception that with a positive mindset, it will change the mind of many women of my age to have a positive thought of aging gracefully.

I see changes in my life when I heed to exercise and improved diet.  Right from the start I remind myself, better start now or it will NEVER happen!  Know this.... diets by themselves do NOT WORK!!! You have to add exercise too, and that’s why I try my level best to sustain my aerobic exercises, senamrobik and the hiking/climbing adventures. 

In my opinion people who wish to remain relax during the aging journey must understand that they must cast out their mindset that reaching ‘golden age’ is not a time travel to the ‘world of seeing time pass by’ or sit in the rocking chair outside the verandah and waving ‘Hi’ to any stranger that passes by.

Dangerous.. so got to be careful

The wiser ones would be those who will be traveling around the globe with spouse or friends and may be some taking back the role of  ‘nanny’ of their grandchildren.   It is definitely a better way of living than those who I mentioned in the 2^nd paragraph.

 

In today’s world where health or medical bills are nightmares, try to see in another perspective about how keeping fit and healthy will enlighten health hazardous.  Adequate awareness and precautions are needed for prevention of any diseases.  We may struggle with time and various commitments but consciously do you know that any form of excuse will be defined as the ‘reason and the cause’ to be unfit.

Are you having a bad time trying to resort to exercise?  It is something to be ashamed of if you blame ‘time’ or if you blame ‘work’ and worst of all if you blame ‘body fatigue after work’.  Put up a fight and stop believing that doctors and medicine are the ones can cure your disease. Admit it that prevention is better than cure.  A healthy lifestyle and physical activity is always the best method of prevention known to mankind.

Some simple steps that have kept me kicking at this age are just,

Exercise whenever I can in my daily life

Drink loads of water at all times

Have a balanced diet or meal plan

Healthy mental health

Why did I mention mental health? Well, it's how we cope with life that has has so many challenges and undetermined outcome.  Some may even call it emotional health.  This I wish to relate to our moods, our adverse expressions, the way how we see things, etc.

At my office.....

Do wonders for your body and mind and i.e. boost up your energy level with constant awareness of physical exercises. At the same time, you will notice that you will discover much better mental health, increase self-esteem and self-confidence.
 

Make sure you don't sprain your back

I am blessed with a good physical trainer, i.e. my loving hubby who coaches me endlessly about enriching healthy lifestyle.  He says, “we are what we eat… and what you put in is what you get out”.  

Stretch and touch my toes

Last but not least, have goals while you wade through the 'aging journey' and enjoy life's pleasures.

Music is the best to accompany me whenever I need a break from stress and therefore, getting the feel of the beat during my workouts are the remedy or should I define it's the tranquilizer for my unbalanced 'self'. 

Give it a Thought

I feel sad and tried to rationalize why in the name of friendship many would turn their faces away when it comes to understanding and respecting to one another.  I began asking myself, would I abuse the meaning of humanity and friendship in lieu of career and the dollar and cents? 

Like many would say, why take it so seriously because it is all about achieving one’s goal in either the good way or the other.  But do we realize that the treatment to own selves during the situation will automatically reflect how we behave and thus, exposing our true ‘colors’. 

Is every day or any other day a misery to you as you watch the people around you and you get disheartened when you can’t get the attention to the credit that you deserved and blaming others ‘stole’ your credit?   Do you feel crushed and is facing a conflict of interests among colleagues and friends?

Have you heard of these familiar expressions?

“I’ll never forgive her for that!!”

“What she has done to me, I will ensure that she gets paid!”

Me, yes, I have said it that myself.  I was really saying it and had refused to compromise in any way to overcome the anguish that had controlled over me.  Then I started to come to terms with it.  I asked myself… why didn’t I blame myself and had not tried to analyze to improve or at least ponder for a while why was there grudge developed innerself.   

Why did I choose to stay on in this anguish mental stress and suffer…?

Conflict isn’t always destructive as it can be also be constructive.  Totally agree that reasoned debates can turn out to be personal and abusive attacks.  Example, opposing views of work structure, ideas and recommendations or even identifying work performance, always arises  from incompatibilities involving several people, in this situation, we define them as staff/employees.  

Of course some people may never forgive and will continue to screw up someone else’s life just to demonstrate what a lousy life they are living… But don’t you think it’s a silly and destructive to their own life or career as well?  Why not alter our attitude towards others as what’s in return you will see the change will have positive respond and expectations.

Blaming and feeling envious are dangerous and disruptive.  It is our choice whether we want to get on with our life or career, and live with a clear heart and mind.  Or choose the worst choice ever and i.e. “chain yourselves to grudges and upsets of the past”.

Let  me add on.  As long as we hold others responsible for our disappointment and unhappiness in whatever we are doing or trying to achieve, we are actually refusing to admit to our own responsibility as well as weaknesses.   Blaming on others never get anyone anywhere.  It creates that anguish button that at any point of time you hit it, you will just erupt.  Blaming is actually an excuse not to do anything about reality, in other words, an excuse not to take action but just talk and brag.  Or can I say blame is an excuse of our own bad behaviour?

In my own experiences in my working environment and from colleagues, many people believe when it comes to money and career, all the positive thinking, hard work and right attitudes may never make a scrap of difference.  I can find many who would argue that he has worked many respectable hours and in fact years for the company and yet nothing had guaranteed him to reach his goals and destinations.  At some stage some would even resign just before retirement day for the fear that they would be receiving no letter of continuation in their employment.  In other words, rejection is a painful decision over matter.

Half the harm that is done in this world
is due to people who want to feel
important. They don't mean to do harm
-- but the harm does not interest them.
Or they do not see it, or they justify it
because they are absorbed in the
endless struggle to think well of themselves.
                   T. S. Elliot

Too rarely do most of us focus on our inner strengths and weaknesses.  We love. We hurt.  Do you know that pain do cause us to contemplate to change directions and our decisions?  There are times when I feel pain, it prompts me to look things differently.  Emotional pain or let it be physical pain, it is still painful.  I feel rotten each time after an outburst as it couples with pain of having to hold back my next anger if ever the situation recurs. 

Nope, I did not miss the topic about CONFRONTATION.  Ever since I can remember, I did everything to avoid this.    I maneuvered how best I can avoid and I have tried all.  I can relate on how irritating it can be when I discover sadly that there is an affiliation among others against me.  

I do have my survival plan should I have to endure with it.  I call it “Fight or Flight”.  I chose FIGHT.  I am ever ready to take any monstrous way as I will be guided by my heavenly angel to fight for truth and facts.  Should I could not tolerate the situation no longer, I would have to resort to use DESTRUCTIVE CONFRONTATION.  My perpetual patience no longer works when the creature in me takes its role and that is a warning that she must heed to.  

Where’s myself discipline? 

To deal with the situation, I will TRY to put aside personal feelings and deal with hard evidence.  I am my own director of life, I create the scenes of my movies and therefore, I choose how things should turn out.  I can be like in the sinister and be in my sadistic moods but then… sigh… why should I have a sad ending to my movies?   Yes, a BIG yes as my confrontation will allow a fair say of the other party (her) and of course, will some how given in to try to achieve a mutual outcome.  My plans, my strategies might fail in the attempt but at least I can boldly claim ‘I HAVE TRIED’.