Give it a Thought

I feel sad and tried to rationalize why in the name of friendship many would turn their faces away when it comes to understanding and respecting to one another.  I began asking myself, would I abuse the meaning of humanity and friendship in lieu of career and the dollar and cents? 

Like many would say, why take it so seriously because it is all about achieving one’s goal in either the good way or the other.  But do we realize that the treatment to own selves during the situation will automatically reflect how we behave and thus, exposing our true ‘colors’. 

Is every day or any other day a misery to you as you watch the people around you and you get disheartened when you can’t get the attention to the credit that you deserved and blaming others ‘stole’ your credit?   Do you feel crushed and is facing a conflict of interests among colleagues and friends?

Have you heard of these familiar expressions?

“I’ll never forgive her for that!!”

“What she has done to me, I will ensure that she gets paid!”

Me, yes, I have said it that myself.  I was really saying it and had refused to compromise in any way to overcome the anguish that had controlled over me.  Then I started to come to terms with it.  I asked myself… why didn’t I blame myself and had not tried to analyze to improve or at least ponder for a while why was there grudge developed innerself.   

Why did I choose to stay on in this anguish mental stress and suffer…?

Conflict isn’t always destructive as it can be also be constructive.  Totally agree that reasoned debates can turn out to be personal and abusive attacks.  Example, opposing views of work structure, ideas and recommendations or even identifying work performance, always arises  from incompatibilities involving several people, in this situation, we define them as staff/employees.  

Of course some people may never forgive and will continue to screw up someone else’s life just to demonstrate what a lousy life they are living… But don’t you think it’s a silly and destructive to their own life or career as well?  Why not alter our attitude towards others as what’s in return you will see the change will have positive respond and expectations.

Blaming and feeling envious are dangerous and disruptive.  It is our choice whether we want to get on with our life or career, and live with a clear heart and mind.  Or choose the worst choice ever and i.e. “chain yourselves to grudges and upsets of the past”.

Let  me add on.  As long as we hold others responsible for our disappointment and unhappiness in whatever we are doing or trying to achieve, we are actually refusing to admit to our own responsibility as well as weaknesses.   Blaming on others never get anyone anywhere.  It creates that anguish button that at any point of time you hit it, you will just erupt.  Blaming is actually an excuse not to do anything about reality, in other words, an excuse not to take action but just talk and brag.  Or can I say blame is an excuse of our own bad behaviour?

In my own experiences in my working environment and from colleagues, many people believe when it comes to money and career, all the positive thinking, hard work and right attitudes may never make a scrap of difference.  I can find many who would argue that he has worked many respectable hours and in fact years for the company and yet nothing had guaranteed him to reach his goals and destinations.  At some stage some would even resign just before retirement day for the fear that they would be receiving no letter of continuation in their employment.  In other words, rejection is a painful decision over matter.

Half the harm that is done in this world
is due to people who want to feel
important. They don't mean to do harm
-- but the harm does not interest them.
Or they do not see it, or they justify it
because they are absorbed in the
endless struggle to think well of themselves.
                   T. S. Elliot

Too rarely do most of us focus on our inner strengths and weaknesses.  We love. We hurt.  Do you know that pain do cause us to contemplate to change directions and our decisions?  There are times when I feel pain, it prompts me to look things differently.  Emotional pain or let it be physical pain, it is still painful.  I feel rotten each time after an outburst as it couples with pain of having to hold back my next anger if ever the situation recurs. 

Nope, I did not miss the topic about CONFRONTATION.  Ever since I can remember, I did everything to avoid this.    I maneuvered how best I can avoid and I have tried all.  I can relate on how irritating it can be when I discover sadly that there is an affiliation among others against me.  

I do have my survival plan should I have to endure with it.  I call it “Fight or Flight”.  I chose FIGHT.  I am ever ready to take any monstrous way as I will be guided by my heavenly angel to fight for truth and facts.  Should I could not tolerate the situation no longer, I would have to resort to use DESTRUCTIVE CONFRONTATION.  My perpetual patience no longer works when the creature in me takes its role and that is a warning that she must heed to.  

Where’s myself discipline? 

To deal with the situation, I will TRY to put aside personal feelings and deal with hard evidence.  I am my own director of life, I create the scenes of my movies and therefore, I choose how things should turn out.  I can be like in the sinister and be in my sadistic moods but then… sigh… why should I have a sad ending to my movies?   Yes, a BIG yes as my confrontation will allow a fair say of the other party (her) and of course, will some how given in to try to achieve a mutual outcome.  My plans, my strategies might fail in the attempt but at least I can boldly claim ‘I HAVE TRIED’.